I love the idea of being a boss lady who handles her business, but I can’t seem to stop resenting all the business I’m handling.
Last Saturday I decided I wanted the kitchen nice and clean after I did some baking. I don’t know what happened, but as I approached hour two of cleaning I happened to notice my husband just – relaxing. Watching football. Smirking as he live tweeted a touchdown.
And I saw my girls pulling out huge containers of toys and just throwing them around like freaking confetti.
It’s hard to articulate my feelings in that moment, but they were akin to pulling a fire alarm before burning the house down. I just looked at my husband like – I’m sorry, what do you do again? Am I here just to serve you, feed you and keep your house clean? What are you, a freaking king? Because if you are a king can you at least make the money of a king so I can scrub this caked on goo off the floor covered in rubies!
Interesting studies on household cultural shifts have shown that women are working more outside the home and men are working much more in. But whether we like it or not, the data shows that women, in general, don’t love being the only ones responsible for the management of the home – but at the same time – don’t want to release those duties either.
Can you blame us? It’s obvious their heart’s not in it! Have you seen the way they fold dishtowels or load dishwashers? I mean, honestly!
The fact is, for most of us, we want to take care of our responsibilities, just can’t help resenting everyone while we do it.
Why? Because we’re exhausted, we’re stressed and we’re taken for granted!
But here’s what I’m learning and this lesson has been a real kick in the jewels –
I cannot bend people to my will, controlling what other people do nor the way they do it. The truth is, the only person to clean my home properly was a woman named Lupe who I hired and damn near proposed to when she was done.
But Lupe wasn’t scrubbing my floors out of the kindness of her heart, she was doing it because she got paid. So really, her heart wasn’t in it either.
The very first thing God gave man was responsibility. That was our first … wait for it …
Gift.
We were given the privilege of choice and the honor to care for the land and animals, name them, and care for our families how we see fit. This wasn’t a burden, it was an honor.
And as we dive into the Proverbs 31 woman this month, we find that she isn’t resentful for one simple reason – she doesn’t do the work for *them* – she does it as an act of worship. It is a sacred responsibility. It is her duty that she honors, respects and does with excellence.
I know you guys, I don’t like it either, but it’s true.
Regardless of whether we are CEOs, stay at home moms or something in-between, what our actual responsibilities are in or outside of the home isn’t the point.
It’s how we value the work of our hands.
From wiping the dust off of baseboards-to going into the office making tough decisions-to volunteering to pick up chairs after a community event-to making a casserole for a neighbor who was diagnosed with cancer-
Your work has tremendous, invaluable, beautiful, worth. Even if no one notices, even if no one cares. If we can get to a place where we do what needs to get done because it’s a sacred duty, not because it’s some thankless burden – it’ll have a crazy impact on our happiness, peace and contentedness.
And really, could we want for anything else?
Enjoy today’s episode!